Pain,
long have I pushed you away
long have I bargained
to keep you at bay—
not me,
not this,
not fair,
not now.
~
But you show up
anyway,
embroidering your thread
upon my heart.
Can you blame me then
if I recoil
at the piercing of
each stitch?
~
Please stop,
I say.
Can’t you see
I’m suffering?
Hey!
Are you listening?
But every time
your answer is the same:
~
Pay attention
pay attention
pay attention.
~
No.
I’d rather not.
No.
Some other day.
Help.
I’m not sure.
Can I just push you away?
~
Pay attention.
~
But it hurts too much,
can’t you see you’ve
sewn my heart shut,
now what?
I’m afraid,
I’m afraid,
I’m afraid.
~
Pay attention.
~
Don’t you hear me?
Can’t you see me
in my misery?
I suffer because of you, old pain,
and yet all you offer
is your ceaseless refrain.
~
pay attention
~
Must I?
Can I?
Will I?
Ah.
Dear pain,
how you’ve
worn me down,
my arguments are gone,
and all I can do is
breathe
and
listen
and say
yes
yes
yes
Our Beautiful Heart 
Powerful and amazing for me!!!
Chris, love sharing this journey with you! Thanks for stopping in. ❤
Oh, Lorraine, this is a lesson I am continually learning. Sending many hugs. It is so like you to see clearly even in the midst of pain, and to offer your loving insights to others. xoxo
Dear Amy, I’m always amazed at how perfectly life is set up to teach us the very things we need to see. All is well here, and I thank you for your huge heart that always shines so brightly and steadily. ❤
I really needed to hear this today. Thank you so much, Lorraine.
Melanie, I’m so lucky to have you as a friend. Thank you for reading and always being such a support to me. ❤
Oh, Lorraine. What Amy said. Lessons are hard, and wish I could send a hug in between. xo
Dear Jeannine, I am so blessed to have you in my life. Despite the distance, I always feel your great support and kindness. All is well here and your hugs are always welcome! ❤
Exquisite and visceral truth. Breathing this in Lorraine. Thank you ❤
Thank you, John. I’m so happy when you read my words. I know you always read my heart. ❤
Yes. ❤
Love the yes. Love you. Thank you for being on this journey with me, Melodye. ❤
Amazing poem. Love the pulsating repetitive rhythms that show the relentlessness of pain and how it demands our attention as much as we try and push it away. I’m sorry you’ve had to experience this as it must be debilitating as pain can often be, but you describe it very well. Love your new blog, Lorraine! Nice to be able to read your writing again. I miss those MV days and the fun we used to have there.
Oh Cat, I just want to run over and give you a big hug. Thank you for expressing how you took this poem in–that rhythm is exactly what I was listening to. What a great writing partner, writer, and human being you are! I have such good memories of the sharing that was so supportive and helpful on MV. But how wonderful we can continue our friendship in other ways. ❤
Lorraine, this poem is a smile that blossoms through tears, a ray of sun that breaks through clouds. Such wise, beautiful words. I am saddened that pain has been your constant companion. . . You reveal so gently how pain does not define you.
Sending you so much love. Thank you for sharing your gifts. ❤
Amy, thank you so much for your love and kindness. All is well here. This bit of writing is more a reflection into feeling how pain shows up for all of us through our lives and how we see it at different stages. It has been a great gift for me to shift from pushing pain away to meeting it and finding that the pain is actually in the resistance to my experience rather than the experience itself. I have such gratitude for the lessons of life and for the love that is so freely shared amongst us. I’m so happy to have met you and to share our hearts. ❤
You expressed it beautifully, my friend. I’m honored to know you. xoxo